Friday, March 16, 2012

We can do hard things

Mr. Hud is 2 months old today!! It feels like he has been in our lives so much longer! I think you feel that instant bond and overwhelming love when your baby is born because we knew them in the preexistence. We already loved them so much and then when you see them again for the first time that familiar love comes back. Besides our new different life style with Hudson, I think that's why it feels so normal to be a mom. I have always been his mom, and always will be. :)

I felt the same when I married Curtis. I expected such a drastic change to happen, but it all felt so normal to be with him. It was meant to be all along. Our spirits recognize what is right and what is meant to be.

Staying at home with Hudson has been my life long desire. I can't tell you how much I enjoy being a mom to this goofy little boy! Although it has been the hardest time of my life, it has also been the most fulfilling time of my life. I love all the mom duties. I love taking care of our home, doing laundry, cooking dinner, crafts, and running errands. I don't think I could be happier in any other work place.

This goof ball now weighs 10 pounds and 4 ounces and is 23 1/4 inches long!! And I love every inch of him! He is the happiest 2 month old I have ever known. My favorite  times of the day are right after I finish feeding him. He will talk, laugh, and smile for a whole hour! After that his talking slowly turns into yelling and I know it's nap time. We still have not mastered sleeping. BUT, the night before last, I swaddled him for the first time and he sleeps amazing now! What the heck! I guess I never believed it, but I was desperate! He always loved to be stretched out since the day we brought him home. But I went against the natural instincts and their need to feel secure. Like I said before, he knows more than I do.

So big!

I love that he can recognize me now! I feel so much more special. :) And he has started to smile at all the toys I wave or shake in his face. And after 2 months of the same outfits he finally fits into his 0-3 or 3 month old clothes. He's more on the thin side so they are still baggy but he's definitely long enough for them!

He makes me so proud. All the hour drives to Phoenix, the long torturing appointments, and all his extra hardware does not stop this little boy from smiling. He has been a champ through everything! He can handle a lot for a 2 month old. His spirits are always high! It makes me feel better about his upcoming surgeries. I know he'll be one brave kiddo. Me, on the other hand... not so much. Whether it's ear tubes or open heart surgery, I know it's not easy for ANY mother to go through. I'm beginning to question who really IS the teacher? Me or him? We sure can learn a lot from these little people. Their spirits are pure.

The new addition to his NAM

We do what we can. :)

My mom got me this sign from a lady she works with. Because we can do hard things! Being a mom is hard, and harder than I ever imagined! I never believed anyone! :) I thought once how much easier it would be if Hudson was never born with a cleft. We wouldn't have to deal with all these appointments, costs, surgeries, worry, and mouth pieces. But then I thought of how amazing he has been!! He is seriously the happiest baby and we have truly been blessed! He was meant to do hard things! And I'm sure if my next baby has no cleft he'll come with his own set of challenges! And if I did have a choice of cleft or no cleft with this little mister, I wouldn't have him any other way than the way he is now!

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