That face.

Our Hud the Stud turned 18 months old yesterday!! That just seem so old to me! He's turning out to be quite the goof ball/ nerd/ weirdo. Ok so maybe we already knew all that... since day one pretty much. But it sure has been magnified as of late! Making us laugh is one of his specialties. He's quite the character.

He is about 20.8 pounds now and that is just me putting him on our scale. He's got 10 teeth now. Still missing his two  top and bottom left laterals. It's weird that those ones have still not come in. It makes me wonder if those teeth will be missing since his cleft was on his left side. I'm excited for him to get an x-ray. Whenever that will be... He does have another dentist appointment in September. I don't think they will do anything then though.

We were very disappointed to discover a fistula in palate a few weeks ago. That is a tiny pin hole on the roof of his mouth, towards the front, like behind his top teeth. It either never closed after palate repair or reopened sometime after. You can totally tell he has a whole when he sucks from his sippy. He's very noisy and it's probably equivalent to us sucking through a straw with a hole in it. I have still not called his surgeon about it. There is a chance the fistula will close on it's own or it will need repaired later on. I obviously don't know any details until I can talk with his surgeon. I'm real sad about it though. Just one more thing that will need fixed. His next surgery, if needed, wont be until he goes to kindergarten. So we still have time. I just worry about it affecting his speech and eating.

Speaking of speech he still only says "mama" and "uh-oh". He's been saying some other things that we don't understand. And some words like "thank you" he just says the sounds with out pronouncing any letters. I'm still not quite worried about his speech yet. But it does make it very frustrating for both of us when he is trying to tell us what he wants. Usually he just takes us by the hand and drags us to what he wants or where he wants to go. And then does this whinny "uh uh" as he points. Funny guy.

He has come to LOVE Curious George! When he wants it on he'll come up to us "ooo ooo". He probably watches too much during the day... When one episode ends he immediately yells for another to be one. Even if he is in the other room not watching it he hears the ending music and runs in the room for another one to be one.

He's still a great sleeper! And still loves to collect things in twos. He gets quite obsessive about it too. As of late we have had to leave the wooden spoons out for him or else he throws a fit. Wooden spoons, spoons, pens, chapsticks, plastic sand shovels, blocks, and cords are just a few of his favorites. He still loves his ball pit, even though he got attacked by a scorpion in it! And he loves to play in the water!

He has already mastered being a big brother to Nova! While in the car today Nova had a blanket over her carseat and Hudson lifted it up and peaked in and "awwed" at her. It was quite precious. He also gives great hugs lately and if you ask for a kiss he'll give you one. He also gives high fives and knuckles. He sure is a lot of fun lately!

Next stop... a 2 year old!

Life with a princess...

Miz Nova Renae is 6 weeks old as of today! Yet it feels she has been with us a life time. She just fits in so perfectly in the Hofmann home. I am so in love with her!!! I love having a girly! She has continued to be the most perfect little thang! And I just don't get it! Besides all Hudson has been through he really has just been an easy going guy so I thought for sure, for sure, this girl would give us some trouble. Think again. The only way she could possibly be any easier was if she didn't poop but that ain't happening! I keep telling myself she must be my prize after billions of appointments, NAMs, and surgeries we went through with Hudson. She's a keeper!

Twice she has slept 11 hours straight. I didn't think that was possible for a newborn! And she continues to sleep 6-9 hours at night! What the!? Somehow she was born with a sleep schedule already. I'll try not to act so surprised when all hell breaks loose and the trouble begins with her. I keep waiting for it to happen but she keeps being so amazing! I thought for sure with all the bragging I've done karma would get to me. Not yet.

I've been sleeping her on her tummy since she came home from the hospital. And maybe that's why she sleeps so great. I've been afraid to test that theory though. Plus I have to keep that little head perfect for all that beautiful dark hair! I'm in love with her head! We don't want any more flat heads... ahem, Hudson. Ooops.

And nursing... whoa, is that another story! I knew it would be hard, but not this hard! I'm proud of myself for making it to 6 weeks! I'm one to take the easy way out of things if at all possible and those first couple of weeks a quick bottle was so tempting at times when I would end up in tears of frustration. I really don't know what has kept me going! The easier it has gotten the more I have enjoyed it though. AND learned that breast feeding really is easier than a bottle! I think she will be the one to teach me patience. Plus I'm a Nova hog and like the fact that I'm the only one who gets to feed her which makes me that much more her favorite. For now at least. It really is something special to be able to nurse her.

So the little lady now weighs 7 pounds 15 ounces as of yesterday! I either just have little babies or I'm starving them... I love that they get to stay little longer. I get my moneys worth out of their newborn clothes that's for sure!

Hudson has just been awesome with her. I really couldn't ask for a better 18 month old big brother! Most the time he doesn't even notice her but when he does he's giving her her paci, touching her toes, rubbing her head, and sharing his blanket with her. Still wont hold her yet though. But he is so sweet to her! Since he's been awesome and she's been awesome having two kids has really been a breeze so far. It has it's challenges for sure but it's been easy to handle. And maybe that's because Curtis gets home from school at 1 and helps out a lot with Hudson. Life is good.

There is just something extra special about little girls. Her spirit is so sweet, so fragile and pure, the way I wish she could stay the rest of her life. I think it takes some extra care in raising a Daughter of God. On Sunday Curtis gave her a name and blessing and I started to tear up before he even started. It was such a perfect day! We love being surrounded by everyone we love!

She really is just so perfect! She is asleep on my chest as I type.

Father's Day 

Along came Nova

Excuse me while I take a few paragraphs to brag about my labor and delivery, and a beautiful little girl named Nova...

It all started about a week before I was due which was June 6th. As the date slowly grew closer I began to lose hope for an early baby. Thanks to Hudson being 8 days late I tried not to get my hopes up but that plan quickly failed when I was 3 weeks away from being due. I knew that just the next day would be "the day"! But I was disappointed when that day would end with not one sign of labor. So a few days before my 39 week doctor appointment I got the idea that I wanted to be induced. This was a big debate for me because I am a strong believer that babies will come when THEY are ready. Hence, why we waited an extra week for Hudson. Plus I've heard horror stories about inductions that kinda scared me. Ones that lead to c-sections and that's definitely not what we wanted.

At my doctors appointment that Friday I found out I was already 3cm dilated and 90% effaced! So close right!? Well I was excited to know I was progressed so far already but this is what happened with Hudson, I had the same progression for another week before he was born. The PA let me know that I could be induced anytime now. She said all I would have to do was call the office and tell them I was done! Well now that I knew having our baby girl was just a phone call away I had all weekend to talk it over with Curtis, who felt the same about inductions as I did. And continue my own personal battle in my head whether it was the right decision or not. I had wondered why this decision was so hard for me. I had wanted her to come early, to come now! This is what I wanted! Besides I was done being pregnant. Curtis told me Sunday that he supported me in what ever decision I made. So I said let's do it!

Monday morning as soon as I could I called my doctor's office and told them I was ready and wanted to be induced! Well the front desk gave me the extension to the lady who schedules the inductions which of course went straight to her voice mail. I left my detailed message and waited anxiously the rest of the day to hear back from her. By 4 o'clock with no call, I called again, just to be sure my message wasn't missed or anything... But I had to leave another message. By five I gave up waiting for her call since the office was closed. But at 5:10 I got a call and sure enough it was her! She explained that my induction was approved but she could not call the hospital today because the scheduling department was closed but she would get back to me first thing in the morning.

Well Tuesday morning I made sure the sound on my phone was up high and kept it close by at all times. I didn't want to miss this call! I tried to keep busy with Hudson as we played out back. And at 10 AM she called! To my utter surprise and delightment she got me scheduled that day at 1 PM!!! I thanked her a billion times and we hung up. With only 3 hours to get ready I didn't waste time! I let Curtis know who was in school and would be done at 12 (perfect!) and called my mom.

This was it!

I dropped Hudson off at my parents and met Curtis there. We were both so excited on our way to the hospital! Once we got there we signed a few papers and waited an hour for a room to be ready for us. And a little after 2 we made it into a room. I changed into the 3XL gown and got hooked up to the monitors. Woohoo! At 3 I got an IV and then at 3:30 the pitocin started. The contractions started almost immediately and at 5 minutes apart! The nurse was surprised at how far I was already progressed and said that this should go fast. I didn't doubt it! My labor with Hudson was only 6 hours and everyone told me the 2nd is always faster. I thought maybe it was no coincidence the thought of being induced came into my head. This might go a lot faster than we all anticipated!

Funny guy

Keep em' comin'!

After a half hour maybe with the pitocin the nurse came back in around 4 and uped the dose. She said they range the amount from 2-36. Starting at a 2 I was now at a 4. And my contractions were already getting uncomfortable and closer together. She left us again and I was already considering an epidural. She mentioned to us earlier how another patient requested the epidural before her water was even broke, as if saying she might not have needed it that soon. So I felt like I had to tough it out now until my doctor came to break my water. Well every contraction got worse and closer together and I was getting nervous! She came back in again and unhooked me from the monitors so I could get up and move around which did help the pain. With no certain time on when my doctor would be in to check me I told her I could use that epidural now. Now I'm not a very assertive person and she kind of talked me out of it. So I waited some more. Bad idea. Don't try and tough it out if you already know you're going to get an epidural!

At about 5:30 the contractions were pretty unbearable and very close together. I told my nurse I was ready for the epidural! Now! I was having flash backs to Hudson's delivery. It all happened so fast That I didn't get my epidural until I was dying in pain and already 9cm dilated! Well that's how I felt now. Stupid for not just getting it earlier because I was too afraid of what the nurse would think of me for wanting an epidural after only an hour of contractions...

It took about a half hour for the anesthesiologist to make it to my room and another few minutes to set everything up and get ready to give me the epidural. It was about 6 PM now. All the while I was sitting on the side of the bed wanting to cry with each contraction! Just as he finished with it I had the strangest feeling. My body was making me push!! But I didn't say anything to anyone. I wasn't quite sure what I was feeling. Once back in bed and the pain slowly wearing off I turned to Curtis and told him I think I need to push! Shortly after and during a contraction my water broke! Everyone heard it.

There were 2 other nurses in the room along with my nurse and the anesthesiologist who was finishing up on the computer. They were all surprised! And one went to get my doctor. Meanwhile my nurse was telling me not to push yet! Luckily the pain was pretty much gone and the urge to push wasn't as bad. But I sure felt a lot of pressure with each contraction and it was hard to hold back! Once my doctor got there he checked me and sure enough I was 100% ready to go! My nurse was amazed with how fast it went! Heck, we all were!

Well after 3 pushes in the span of 2 minutes a princess was born...

Nove Renae Hofmann

6:20PM 7 LBS 20 INCH

Who knew labor could go so quickly! It was a little less than 3 hours from when the pitocin started! And only 2 minutes of pushing! If you're wondering why I still look so good, well there ya go! I knew we made the right decision to be induced after that! The feeling I've had each time I hear that little cry for the first time is indescribable! The moment is so heavenly and so so special. We were in love with her full head of dark hair and her sweet little face!

Miss Nova has been an angel! I can't get over how perfect she is and has been! She's been sleeping 4-7 hours at a time and never cries unless I take too long to feed her. She is the cuddliest little bug ever and has so many sweet sleepy smiles. 

So far having two kiddos has been 10x easier than I thought it would be. Hudson is pretty much awesome anyway and Nova is an angel so its been a breeze! They even nap at the same time already! Hudson is slowly warming up to her. He'll "oooh" and "awww" at her now. And he plays with her toes. Today her paci fell on the ground and he said "uh-oh" and brought it to me and tried to put it in her mouth. And here I thought he would just steal it! He wanted nothing to do with her in the hospital. He shook his head at her and shrugged away. He was even mad at me! But he's been his normal self since he came home.

We are in love with this little girl and love dressing her up! There is no denying how blessed we are and have been!

And then there were four.

Home sweet home!

She loved getting her hair done!

First sponge bath. Loved that also!

Her hair is so curly when it's wet and she gets the perfect wave on top! Unfortunately when it dries the curls are gone and it's pretty crazy. 

Only time can tell

Yesterday was a month since Hudson had his palate repaired! It seems like it was forever ago though! It's such a relief to have that over and done with. We are past the storms and are smooth sailing now! We had a post op appointment with his surgeon last Wednesday where we also got to meet with the wonderful orthodontist Dr. Glick and the speech pathologist. Dr. Beals said his palate looks great and all food restrictions are lifted. Although we've been feeding him everything for the past week or so anyway. But now I feel better about it! He still has stitches which will dissolve with in the next four weeks. We wont see Dr. Beals again until Hudson turns 2. His speech will be evaluated then to make sure his palate is working properly and doesn't need any revision. From age 2-4 they will focus on his speech. If he needs any help that is. Any revision or speech therapy will be done before he goes into kindergarten. The speech pathologist was a little concerned about his speech when she was asking me questions. He still only knows "mama" and "uh oh" but we both agreed to give him more time since he just had his palate repaired. He's already been able to say "ga" since and a few other new sounds. I'm confident his vocabulary will improve by age 2. He's already proved how awesome he is and that nothing can slow him down! He is the definition of perseverance! I am so proud of him. I love the person he is becoming already! I can't believe we have been blessed with this special little being and I wouldn't have him any other way!

Dr. Beals and Hudson

He had tubes put in his ears on the 23rd which was a piece of cake compared to his last 2 surgeries. Once we got home he was back to normal. So I don't really have much to say about it! But that's a good thing. 

We now have exactly ONE month from today until I am due with this little lady of ours! I can not believe how fast it has gone! And why is that? Cause we know what to expect? But I'm not complaining! We are pretty much ready for her! Her room is almost complete and I have just a few more things to buy before I feel I'm really ready. But she's welcome to come anytime now if you ask me! I'm praying she will not be late like her stinky big brother! I can't wait to see what she'll look like! And I hope she ends up with lots of hair like Hudson! She sure is making a racket in my belly so I can't imagine she'll want to be in there much longer! I have a feeling she will be born in May. My intuition hasn't let me down yet! I asked Curtis the other day what he was most excited about and he said dressing her up. Awww Oh I can't wait to have this little girl in our arms!! Everyone tells me how lucky we are to have a boy and a girl first. Then they usually follow it up with "don't ruin it now". Someone even told me that's what they call a million dollar family. I'll take it! And the million dollars! I do feel very lucky and blessed already! Let the count down begin!

Wonder Boy

He's baaaack!!!

Well folks he's done it again! How could I have doubted him?! I never could have believed he'd be back to his old self in just two weeks!! I was expecting fits for at least another month. And now there is no trace of them. He sleeps great again, eats fantastic, and is happy all day long! He's a fighter! It's as if surgery never happened. I didn't think he would take to foods again so fast. I should have known... that little piggy. He never did take his bottle again. Which is one way to get rid of them... not recommended though. I'm glad to be done with bottles! He's been great with his sippy now too! Drinks lots of water and loves pediasure. It's amazing. Nothing phases this kid. He's rockin' his new palate!

It's such a relief to have that behind us! I'm so proud of him! He's even been more cuddly since surgery too. He always leans in to give me loves and open's him mouth to give me kisses. I can't get over how awesome he is! We are so lucky to have him in our lives. I love him so much! I wouldn't change a thing!

Tuesday morning we will be heading back to Cardon's so Hudson can get tubes in his ears. I wish it could have been done with palate surgery but it was too short of a notice for the ENT. It will be a breeze compared to his last surgery for sure! I'm just afraid he's going to remember everything a freak out. I'm not too worried though. He'll be great, as always. Bring it on!

A palate is born

If your looking for my usual positive posts you may not find it here. It's been a real rough week as I've tried my best to take care of a healing little boy. My patience has been tried and tested yet again. I've had a few not so proud moments that have made me question myself. Was I really doing my best for Hudson? I've had to sit back and watch my baby cry. Cry from pain, cry from confusion, cry because he wants something but just doesn't know what. Cry as I've held his arms tight and his head down to forced medicine down his throat while he kicked and screamed. Cry because he just wanted to sleep in someone's arms. Its torn me apart to watch him cry so much when sometimes there was nothing I could do for him but hold him down and rock him until he stopped.

There have been some smiles and giggles amongst the tears. They don't last long but are surely enjoyed. They remind me of the once happy, goofy boy I had before surgery. They also remind me that I'll have him back someday soon, because this is our lot in life and I know Heavenly Father doesn't give us more than we can handle. Even though I may have forgotten that little blessing a few times this week as I've wanted to just give up.

We've made it to 9 days post op. Everyday I see a little more improvement in Hudson. And every little bit counts! I look forward to the day when this is past us and I can watch my food loving boy eat all his favorite foods again with ease. One day...

--------

Friday the 5th of April started smooth for us. I slept well, with a few odd dreams of hospitals. We packed up what was left on our list and left the house right on time with a happy Hudson in the back seat.

The night before we had dinner with Curtis's parents where I held a wiggly boy as his dad and grandpa gave him a blessing. I feel so blessed to have the priesthood in my life and in my home for moments such as these. I felt a little more prepared for what Friday had in store for us and Hudson.

We arrived at Cardon Children's Hospital a little early. We waited in the front room for them to be ready for us. Hudson enjoyed the wait.

We got called into an office room not long after where we signed papers and got wrist bands. We made our way to the second floor and into another waiting room where we didn't wait long. Once behind the doors the nurse measured and weighed Hudson and asked us questions. She showed us into a little room where we would wait until surgery time at 10AM. She gave us a mini gown and little pants for Hudson to wear. Another nurse came in who asked us more questions and gave us more information and measured and weighed Hudson again to double check it was right the first time. She found out that it was and that he's just a little guy on the charts. That's all. 

Hudson had not eaten since the night before so he wasn't in the best of moods by 8:30 but we kept him busy with toys, cartoons, and a little car he enjoyed ridding around in. Did I mention the little gown and pants he got? I do love those! My mom showed up around 9 to give him loves too before it was time to say good bye. Hudson loves him Grammy! Curtis and I move down a notch when she is around. But that's OK because she was able to help keep him happy while we waited.

Grammy arrives

Hudson's surgeon Dr. Beals came in to talk to us around 9:30. He explained the procedure once again and reassured us that he will be in good hands. Next came the anesthesiologist who explained what he will do. And finally the nurse, the one to take Hudson away. She talked with us a bit and tried to make friends with Hudson. We all three said our "I love you's" and goodbyes. I handed him over to the nurse and he went with out a fight. We stood there and watched her walk through the double doors with our brave little man. We all didn't want to miss one second of him.

We packed our things up from the little room and made our way to the waiting room. It was only 9:45 by then. It was just as hard to walk in the other direction as it was the first time. I fought back tears for a while before I could fully distract myself. The three of us just sat quietly and played on our phones for a while. I got a call about 20 minutes after 10 from the nurse who took Hudson. She said they had started right on time and everything is going well. That was a little more comforting.

Missy came to wait with us and brought a huge bouncy ball for Hudson and some treats for us. We started to talk and joke around some more and watched a comedian on my mom's iPad who was hilarious! John Pinette, look him up. It helped ease my tension and made time pass more quickly.

I was shocked when Dr. Beals came up to us at only 11:20 to tell us he was finished and everything went great with minimal blood loss. He told us what would happen from here and answered a few questions. What happened to the 2 hours he said it would take?! Heck I'll take an hour and twenty minutes! He's awesome and I was impressed! We continued to watch John Pinette on the iPad for another 20 minutes until the nurse at the front desk called for the parents of Hudson. That's me! I could pack up our stuff fast enough! Curtis and I followed her through the doors leaving behind my mom and sister. I was so nervous to have him back with us. As we followed her down the hall and through more double doors I heard a cry coming from a room. A cry that could only exist in my nightmares. We walked closer and closer to this cry and I became scared. I realized seconds before we reached the cry that it was Hudson.

It was a terrified cry, a raspy cry and panicked cry. It was a different cry but it was still my Hudson. He was fighting the nurse who was holding him. Kicking and trying to wiggle free. I couldn't get to the chair fast enough. I sat down and she placed the kicking and screaming boy in my arms. Not even the sound of my voice calmed him down and it broke my heart. He cried and cried as I tried to hold him tight with one arm and softly rub the tag of his blankie across his cheek. I felt helpless. We worried that he might be in pain but the nurse reassured us that he was not and that it was just the effects of waking up from anesthesia. He would go from cry to sleeping for a while longer. Nothing we tried helped him calm down. He was angry. He kept trying to get the arm restraints off. Which he managed a couple times only to have them back on again. The right one came off yet again and fell between me and the pillow. So I left it. I showed him his blankie and put it in his right hand where he held it tight. He held onto it and at his calm moments would play with it with his fingers and fall back asleep. But the crying fits continued and there was nothing we could do to help him. Finally the nurse came in and gave him something through his IV which helped calm him down and put him back to sleep. I'm not sure how long we were in the little post op room but it felt like ages. Another nurse came in with a wheel chair which I sat in with Hudson and she wheeled us all the way up the top floor and into our own recovery room. The ride reminded me of almost 15 months ago when me and Hudson took a ride together into a another hospital room.

Curtis took this picture while he was crying. We figure we might as well take advantage of it! It looked better than I thought it would right after surgery.

Once in the room the crying started up again. The nurse hooked him back up to the IV and I told her to leave the other arm restraint off. I wasn't worried about fingers going into his mouth. I just wanted him to have some relief. But the IV made him just as mad. My mom and Missy showed up into our room after we got settled. Nothing still seemed to help him. Not even Grammy. He would fall asleep for about 10 minutes at a time only to wake up crying again. Only now he started to throw up blood. I had to remind myself that it was totally normal. They swallow lots of blood during surgery and it will upset their stomach. It wasn't pretty and went on for a couple of hours until he got it all out. During that time my dad showed up and we all tried to offer him his bottle and sippy cup but he wouldn't have it! We finally tired apple sauce with a spoon and that was the only thing he would take.

The crying didn't stop there though. He was passed around from one person to the next. He would reach out for someone new as if hoping they would take him away from this awful place. That evening was a little better for him. He was able to eat 2 things of apple sauce without any trouble and would stay calm for longer periods of time. The TV, iPad, and a few toys kept him distracted. I was even able to get a little laugh from him. He was still not fond of the IV and kept wanting us to take it off. Curtis's mom and dad also came to visit for a while and another cleft mommy who I've made friends with.

Huddy and Pappy

Watching cartoons

After our guests left around 8 or 9 maybe I realized how lonely it was. Curtis and I got comfy and pulled out our bed which was equivalent to sleeping on a booth at a restaurant. The recliner wasn't much better either. It only reclined about 5 inches and the foot rest only came up about 8 inches and was left at a slant. If you didn't have your knees up you felt like you were going to slide of the thing! But that's where I sat with Hudson most of the night. His longest stretch of sleep was maybe 3 hours and he woke up right as I was falling asleep. It didn't help that the nurse would come in every 4 hours to check his vitals. He cried and slept and slept and cried all night long. And I don't think I got an ounce of sleep. It was one of the longest nights of my life. Baby sister was not happy with the sleeping arrangements at all either or the fact that brother squished on top of her most of the night.

I was glad when morning finally rolled around. We were exhausted and frustrated with poor Hudson crying so much. It put me to tears. Suddenly having a cleft palate didn't seem like such a big deal after all and I had wish it was back. This surgery proved to be much tougher on us all than his first. I was almost disappointed. Everything had been so smooth for us on this cleft journey of ours. How could this have happened? The crying was tearing us apart. Nothing could consolidate him. But this was the healing process.

The second day was definitely better than the first. He still had crying fits and didn't sleep much at all. But he ate more apple sauce and played more with his toys and Grammy's iPad she had left. We had trouble getting him to drink though. He still wouldn't take more than a half an ounce from his bottle and not much from his sippy either. Fluids did not interest him. But little did he know that that was our ticket out of this place. We were hoping to be out before lunch time but they wouldn't let him leave until he was drinking more. The nurse unhooked his IV to see if that would make him more thirsty. It was also a relief not to have that dang thing attached to him.

At least someone got sleep...

Hudson's cleft buddies

Coco and Garrett came to visit that morning. Hudson was playing around and being goofy and we all had a few good laughs from him. And my mom came back to help around lunch time and give us a break. He went for lots of walks around the halls, watched lots of cartoons, and ate a lot of apple sauce. He would be happy and play longer but he still wouldn't drink and didn't sleep much either. It was a long day. With no improvements on his part about drinking on his own. So we prepared ourselves for another night. My mom stayed with us the rest of the day. And we all tried to keep him busy and happy. I just wanted to go home. I knew he would be so much better at home. He was dying to get out of his room. Finally around 7:30 that night the nurse came in who spoke with the pediatrician and gave us the option of staying with more IV fluids or going home and trying our luck there. She was happy he was eating lots of apple sauce and we did get a couple ounce of fluids in him, but not with out a fight. Of course I told her we want to go home! Relief! We didn't end up leaving until about 9 though. But we didn't want to stay another second longer!

Already looking awesome!

My mom helped us out and we loaded up our car and said our goodbyes and thank you's. Hudson was asleep after 5 minutes and slept all the way home.

Let's go!

See ya later Cardon's!

After crying for a half hour once we were home he finally fell asleep and only woke up once in the night where I gave him medicine and rocked him back to sleep. I knew he would be better at home! But the days to follow still weren't easy. Some nights have been better than others. He would wake up screaming and crying and not knowing what he wanted so I would have to hold him tight and just rock him until he fell back asleep. It was like this during the day too. He was definitely better being home though. He plays more but has been very clingy... and bossy. He's been eating great with a spoon and just baby food but we still have a hard time getting him to drink. He still will not drink more than an ounce of his bottle and then just throws it to the side like he doesn't care for it anymore. That's been one big surprise for us. He loved his bottles before surgery and now he could care less about them. I offer him one every day still in hopes he will drink from it but with little luck and no improvements. I'm just happy he is eating though!

I've seen much improvement though as the days go on. The nights are still long and he still has his crying fits but they don't last as long. It's hard to get him to sleep and we are counting down the minutes until he can have his paci back and we cross our fingers that he likes it just as much! So much for getting rid of it... but we are desperate to give him more comfort.

It was a long week. And every minute to myself I slept or tried to keep the house in order. The worst is behind us and we know he is only going to get better from here on out! He's a tough little guy! I can't believe all he has been through in such a short amount of time. He reminds me to keep pushing through the hard parts and smile and have fun when you can. That's what he does at least. Still smiling and always amazing me! Despite the hard times we know we have been and are still so blessed! Thank you thank you for all the love, support, and meals we have received!

You can tell it was a different day by the shirt. It looked better and better every day! He wasn't so happy when I took some pictures...

The last two are from today. He got to eat scrambled eggs and strawberries today! Slowly but surely he'll make it back to crackers and rocks... but for now we celebrate every little accomplishment!

He's a rock star!!