Friday June 1st, 2012
That's it! That's when it's all over. That's when we have to say goodbye to our favorite little smile...
I finally got the call from the surgeon's surgery coordinator to set up Hudson's surgery date! I've anxiously and impatiently been waiting 5 weeks for her to call me! The estimated date of surgery was getting very close and I just wanted to know WHEN exactly this would happen! Everyone knows the wait is half as bad when there is a certain date involved!
So there it is, only a month away. It seems so real now... I can't believe my baby boy has to have surgery! I'm afraid I'll get him back looking totally different. I keep picturing in my mind how he might look after his lip is repaired. We have fallen so in love with his little face for the last 3 1/2 months and it makes me sad to see it go. His wide smile is my most favorite thing to see and I can't get enough of it!
I know he'll be a champ through the whole thing! Just like he has been since day one. I'm the only one you all need to worry about! I'm the one who doesn't know what their doing! I swear every time we have a rough feeding I feel like Hudson just wants to tell me "your doing it wrong!" I believe he knew what he was going to have to go through before he came to us. He came prepared and he's been teaching us all along the way! That's why he was a week late! He was getting some extra training. He was made to handle this! And I know he's ready for it! OH these sweet little spirits teach us so much! I know they are still so close to Heaven. I know he's going to been such a humble young man one day because of this! I love my special little boy Hudson!!
With Patrick's first surgery, they would tell us things like, he will be very cranky, that is normal. He will not be himself until the medicine wears off....Things like that. And to tell you the truth, they came back afterwards and said he is the best baby we have ever done. He was smiling before he had even been out of surgery for an hour. I felt so bad and cringed everytime he smiled. I though that had to hurt so bad. He was the best, a trooper. And he did so well. He was not fussy at all. His second sergery went about the same (@9 months old). The third was a little harder. I think he could remember the pain. He cried before he went in (that was a first). He didnt want me to leave him with the dr or nurses and to be honest I didnt want to leave him there either, but I knew it had to be done. He was 21 months at his third surgery. They said he could have a popcycle to help the swelling go down and to help keep it numb. I thought great! Patrick loves popcycles. He didnt want it at all. He cried while I waited at the pharmacy to get his pain medicine (which they messed up so it took twice as long) and he cried most of the 3 hour ride home. I cannot remember if we had just had our little girl or if she came the week after. It was a stressful month. I felt so bad for him. He could feel the stitches in his lip and everytime I would look away, he would pick at them, thinking that they were that loose piece of skin at the center of your top lip. At first after Patrick first surgery I thought he looked so different and that I wish he had is old smile back. And I did miss it for a while, but the new smile grew on me too. And now when I look back at some of his baby pictures I think wow! I cant remember him looking like that. He talks so well now, and it seems like he has been so advanced in everything. Dont you ever let them tell you that your baby is under developed. Every baby is the way he or she is supposed to be. I remember my first sonogram at 20 weeks and the technician told me that my baby was a boy and that he had a cleft lip and that it is very uncomon to be born with the cleft lip without the cleft palate. And then she asked me what I wanted to do....suggesting to me to abort the baby. I was furious! I love this kid and would never give him back for anything. He is almost 3 now.
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