The Date.

Friday June 1st, 2012

That's it! That's when it's all over. That's when we have to say goodbye to our favorite little smile...

I finally got the call from the surgeon's surgery coordinator to set up Hudson's surgery date! I've anxiously and impatiently been waiting 5 weeks for her to call me! The estimated date of surgery was getting very close and I just wanted to know WHEN exactly this would happen! Everyone knows the wait is half as bad when there is a certain date involved! 

So there it is, only a month away. It seems so real now... I can't believe my baby boy has to have surgery! I'm afraid I'll get him back looking totally different. I keep picturing in my mind how he might look after his lip is repaired. We have fallen so in love with his little face for the last 3 1/2 months and it makes me sad to see it go. His wide smile is my most favorite thing to see and I can't get enough of it!

I know he'll be a champ through the whole thing! Just like he has been since day one. I'm the only one you all need to worry about! I'm the one who doesn't know what their doing! I swear every time we have a rough feeding I feel like Hudson just wants to tell me "your doing it wrong!" I believe he knew what he was going to have to go through before he came to us. He came prepared and he's been teaching us all along the way! That's why he was a week late! He was getting some extra training. He was made to handle this! And I know he's ready for it! OH these sweet little spirits teach us so much! I know they are still so close to Heaven. I know he's going to been such a humble young man one day because of this! I love my special little boy Hudson!!

These are a few of my favorite things

I forgot to post our family pictures! We took them when Hud was only 6 weeks old. He was such a trooper for them! It was so early and so cold! The last ones taken he had to have his pacifier cause he was getting cranky. I'm just glad we didn't bring the bright green one with us that day!!

How I love the little family that we have become! Nothing is better!!

These were a few of my favorites...

Ch ch ch changes!

Another month down! And loving every minute of it! I can't believe how big Mr. Hud is! I love looking back at his newborn pictures and reminiscing of how tiny and new he was! He has been so much fun and so entertaining these last couple of weeks. He is just a goof ball! He is always so happy and always smiling! He talks and talk so much! I love it! And he loves to stand. It'll even calm him down sometimes. He's tired of laying down all the time! He wants to get up and go! He loves his mamma. He has started to cry when I set him down sometimes, and then I pick him up and he's fine! I don't know if I should like that or not. We are best friends.

He has changed so much in the last month. I almost feel like I'm finally getting the hang of this! He's a puzzle! The more pieces I put together the more I understand him. It's all trial and error. The whole sleep thing is getting easier too. It's not about putting him to sleep on MY time, it's putting him to sleep on HIS time. And when it lines up just right I lay him in his bed and BAM! he falls asleep all on his own!! I love it! Naps and all! I know we are a long way from sleeping through the night but it has improved a ton in the last month. Especially since I started feeding him the rice cereal, which he has been a champ about! Always finishes every last gulp! Our only issue is with his special nipples. They have a valve in the middle and with every chop on the nipple it allows more formula in. There is no sucking involved it's just by compression that he gets the formula. With the thickness of the formula and rice the valve gets clogged a lot! The little boy doesn't like when I have to take the bottle out of his mouth to clear the valve! He needs his food NOW! We'll figure something out...

I have been anxiously awaiting the call from the surgeon's surgery scheduler for the last 4 weeks. It's killing me! I just want to know the date already! I want to know when this whole NAM and taping thing will be over! I have so many mixed feelings about his surgery. I'm going to miss his wide little smiles. But at the same time it's always being covered by the NAM and the nape and the nasty denture goop that oozes out. I hate it, I hate it I tell ya! I already miss it... And then it will be over and there is no going back.

With his NAM I worry twice as much when it's in as oppose to when it's out. And it's only out for at the most 15 minutes. He has gotten so use to it that he hates when it's out, and he wont eat or take his pacifier. Funny how that totally flip flopped. So naturally it's going to be rough after his surgery and then add learning to eat with out his NAM again! Oh how I don't look forward to that time... It will be nice to not have to worry about that thing anymore but when that day comes his lip will be in one piece. :( And it's not that the NAM has been hard to deal with at all, it's the worry that it brings to me!

The improvements from the NAM have said it all though!! In just the first week his nostril opened up a ton!

Before

After

OH but we still have such a long road ahead of us.

Easter Sunday

Such a handsome little guy!

His new hangout.

OH I love this little boy sooo much! I can't stand it!!

In other news, we have started on our backyard! We WILL have grass this summer!